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Chapter Eight

BeNt  By A Dollar

I sit in this new place—small, clean, comfortable. I live in what I term “Casablanca.” This is the place where you wait for a visa. Your life goes on semi-hold because you do not know your future. There are a lot of differences between my Casablanca and the movie with Humphrey Bogart. The movie is true about the country and the happenings in World War 2, but the personal story in the movie is just that—a story.

The first difference is I have no Nazis after me, I would have if I had been born at that time.   I would no longer stand for such things being put upon me or others, as I do now.  


So, good to be born in this time. 

The second thing, and ironically, the most important thing, was money.  Visa costs a lot of money, and then you must pay for your living expenses while you wait.  In the real world, it can take years for the normal process to go through.  It is the government, and there are thousands of applicants. I have sufficient money and am not concerned if it will last.  

In that time, jewellery and precious stones were sold and bartered cheaply.  One carried it to pay their way once cash money was gone.  Less heavy than gold and a compact way to carry something of value.  It was a fearful, heartbreaking time for the people who had to go to the real French Morocco.  I have not had such a fearful time in mine.

What would you do when you come to the end of your money?

What if there is no welfare, no jobs?  Food may not always be scarce, but what would you do if you can not buy it because you have no money?  How would you think about it, how would it affect your emotions, your actions?  What, then, would you do for the dollar?

The world has made money supreme.  A god to be worshipped.  Money is prestige, power, acceptance, recognition and much more.  At least, it is viewed that way on the whole.  Are you one of the people who think that life would be a whole lot better if you just had money? 

My oldest sister needed a scribbler book for school.  It was either thirteen or thirty-six cents.  It started my parents fighting, and it ended three months later when my mother left.  She walked out on five girls and never looked back.  That three months of fighting altered my life and shaped my thinking about money.  

You woke up to their fighting, ate breakfast while they fought, came home from school to their fighting, and went to sleep with their fighting in your ears.  It was a fearful time, for the in-betweens of their fighting could get you a hit for just existing.

When my father goes to prison, my older sister gets married, and the rest of us go into foster homes. Skid row and like areas had been my atmosphere; now they threw me into an upper-middle-class home, then ten more places of various social levels in the following five years.  Was I a rebellious girl? No. 


I was uneducated, wounded, and bruised. Foster homes added to the money-thinking. One must have money. The lower-class places were too much like home. I wanted better food, nicer shelter, and some fashionable clothes. I wanted warmth to stay in wherever I lived. I wanted the clean smell, the kept yards. I liked education; I wanted to learn.

I lived in the upper-class, middle-class, lower class and no-class homes.   In all classes, money was an issue.   If not verbally, then in their actions. I was to be a ward of the court till I was twenty-one.  People were paid, and a clothes allowance and personal allowance were given.  Yet, except for two homes, no clothes nor allowance were given.  I started working when I was thirteen.  I mowed lawns (with a push mower), babysat and finally got old enough to work in a restaurant. 

In the North End of Winnipeg, the poor section of town, is where we lived after skid row.  I am a watcher. I watch people and their actions.  I also read, voraciously.  Having no parents to guide me through the teen years, books became my parents.  In “True Story,” and “True Magazine,” I learned the consequences of certain behaviours.  

The magazine dealt with stories of young people who do or think the wrong thing and the consequences of it. I learned that doing anything to please boys would cause the loss of your reputation, stealing would get you a record and jail; all the things that could put your life on a bad path.  It did not stop me from all of them, but it helped me to understand that being a teenager was not forever and that the effect of choices could last forever. To a small degree, did I understand this?  I had no clue what I would do with my life, I certainly saw what would not be my life.

You see, most people grow up with some sense of the world around them, how to be around people, and some form of boundaries and rules. Children are children for a long time. From birth to ten, they are little sponges, filled with whatever ways and attitudes are around them.  


They are born blank sheets of paper, and the parents write the beginning years.  Generally, no matter what level of society you are born into, these things are present: the things of how to be and what is acceptable to do.

Now, if you have read this far, please bear with me as I try to explain attitudes and ways of being.

ATTITUDE: what you think and feel about life that is reflected in your behaviour, ways of thinking and being.   

If you are cynical, greedy, or lazy, name it; it will show in how you act. If you are thoughtful, kind, and caring, it will show in how you act. If money is a major point in your life, it will reflect in how you act.

I flunked myself in grade eight. I was in foster homes my first year and went to a private Catholic school. I had gone to summer school for math since grade six. Grade eight made me choose to flunk myself or go to summer school again. I figured I either caught what they were trying to teach or would never figure it out, so I agreed to flunk myself and repeat the year.

I was in one home for a bit and was sent to another Catholic School, but there were problems, so I ended up in a secular school for the last bit of grade eight. There was a math problem that I did not understand the year before, but I got it that year. When the teacher asked for an answer, and I was the only one to get it, my answer may have been smug, but I did not understand what I was doing.

The teacher accepted my answer as correct but added, “I do not like your attitude, young lady.”  I waited until the class emptied and asked him, “What do you mean attitude?”  He replied, “It is your attitude. You ought to know.”  


Well, guess what?  I did not know.

I have since learned to keep a dictionary in my head, but at that time, I did not understand definitions. Definitions define. Attitudes reflect the definition or not. 

Pick a subject of life.  Money, work, sexuality, food, philosophy. There are many more, but we wish to make a point.  How you were trained to think about these things reflects your attitude towards these subjects.  We are talking about money.

Define.  What is the point of money?  How was it meant to be used?  How is it now used?  What will people do for money, and why will they do it?  Think about gold.

Gold fever, gold crazy.  Things that happen to people when they are around gold, why they want to possess gold. It is a metal just like copper, silver, iron, tin, and brass.  Yet, it is so sought for.  People convert their money into gold and golden objects. Why?

 

Gold does not oxidize like silver, iron, or copper, so it does not rust. Therefore, it is always valuable in trade.  


It is beautiful in colour and in its designs, which can be wonderful to look at.  It is malleable, easily shaped or hammered thin.  It can make something beyond splendid to look at when covered in it. 

Did you know there was a gold mine near Eden?  It is mentioned in the Bible in Genesis. (1: 11,12)  


The area of Havilah contained gold and two types of stone.  There is no word mentioned in the Bible without point and
purpose.  The gold and stone would have had a use, but the point of it was lost because of Adam and Woman being expelled from the garden.  

Man was in school in the Garden.  The word school means “leisure, and leisure means “having time.”  It is time to learn the point and purpose by learning what the job is and how to do it.  Time is not mentioned in the Garden.  Time starts when they leave, and just as a rebellious teenager is half finished taking on life, so are Adam and the woman (who now becomes Eve).

Because of eating from the “tree of knowledge of good and evil,” everything goes out of kilter. 


It starts becoming warped.  

Work is always required, and now it is hard work. Children are born too early to people who are not mature. There is all this new emotion, and worse of all, there is the absence of God's Spirit—no teacher, no guide. 

 

Since Adam and Eve had been in God's presence, the reality of God, where they came from, and the commandments of God are fresh in them. But, because their descendants did not experience God's reality, His presence, and His training, they would quickly give up their understanding of Truth to follow their things, desires, wishes, feelings, and thoughts.  The result is further warping of the original design.

Man's environment drastically changed; his spirit drastically changed, and his ability drastically changed.  The result is that man's thinking became warped because of the choices made. They were not made in ignorance. 

Man studies his environment. He studies the flora (plant life) and the fauna (animal life). He learns his individual terrain and can understand the lands that are not his. He sees the differences that each contains, and yet, man can not see the reality of who and what man is. 

A cow is a cow. A horse is a horse, a crocodile is a crocodile; animals are exactly what they are.  A tree is a tree, no matter what species, and a flower is a flower.  

One can study the animals and plant life and come up with a true idea of what they are, what they can and can not do, and what they are good for. Nowadays, one can study the biology and physiology of these things in absolute depth because of the understanding of the mechanics of science and the machines from which give that understanding. 

There is only so much a cow does or a horse.  If I were to study a crocodile for seven thousand years, I would have an exact idea of what a crocodile is, what it will and will not do, how it behaves in all circumstances, and what it is good for.  

Man has studied man since the dawn of time and has no clue where he comes from, what he can and can not do, the range of his behaviours, the whys, or what he is good for. There is mostly just existence. One is either a creationist or not. One will either study history or not. One will either inquire or not.  


It all depends on how much the individual wishes to understand life.  There is a blueprint, a design and if one wishes to build a life, one must learn to read the blueprint, understand the design. 

Scientists examine the order of plant and animal life and the order of the universe; they know it is complicated and did not “just happen.” They may not want to believe in God as He is, yet they are forced to see the rhythms, behaviours, and powers that cause and hold things together. God is science, and science is of God. It is part of the mechanics of the blueprint, the original design.

People would sooner believe Aliens planted us here or that we derived our humanity from monkeys.

The very idea that there was a design, that there is a Designer, is a concept that the individual must choose to see.  It has been that way from the beginning.  The beginning is the dawn; the concept that allows true understanding.  The concept of how something is built, how it works.  If the concept is correct, then all perceptions on that subject are correct. I will see it correctly.

Animals and plants are built upon genetics and instinct.  It is part of the design for a plant to continually behave and grow a certain way, the same for an animal.   Animals run on genetics and instinct, they just know how to be a dog, a horse, a cow.  Certain behaviours, such as hunting skills, are taught by parents or other animals.  

 

Humans are born knowing nothing. They must be taught everything.

Man has genetics, instinct, and a mind that reasons.  Man has a soul and the capability of emotion.  We are not born with fur, we make a warm place to live.  We grow our food and we use animal and plant life around us.  Man dominates his world and has the greatest impact on his world.  Man can choose what he wishes to believe, do, see.   


Show me a monkey that can do these things after seven thousand years.  With all the science man has, he is lost in understanding where he comes from.  Man refuses to accept the Designer because they have to make a choice.  It was that way from the beginning. 

We were created to be taught by God, to be full of His Spirit, His ways.  Yet, we were created with the right to choose.  That is a core point!

Man was created with the right to choose, right from the start.   


Time is not spoken of in the Garden of Eden.  Adam and Woman were in the Garden learning their job.  They were to go out; have dominion over the earth and all its resources.  They were to populate the earth. If there was a design for creation, would there not be a design as to how it should work?

Pick a subject in life; spirituality, emotions, work, sex, money, friendship, acceptance, responsibilities, etc.  Because man was created with all these capabilities, then, in the design of man, it was an original way that the subjects of life were meant to work.

These are the things that Adam and Women were to learn and were learning in the Garden of Eden.  At school, while still not mature in their learning, Adam and Woman made a choice.  It was not as if they were not taught, they were.  They were filled with, covered in and visited personally by the presence of God.  Every day from the day they were created.

Woman allowed herself to be deceived and Adam blindly followed.  They chose on whom they would believe and follow. Their actions spoke their choice.  They were learning their jobs and were to believe God to do His job. If one believes then one learns to trust.  

Both chose not to trust God's words.  For that choice, man was kicked out of the Garden, which was no longer filled with and covered by God's Spirit, His Glory, and a curse was laid upon man.  Man rejected his Design, His Creator and said, “I will fashion and teach myself.”  Hence, no more Teacher, Counsellor; man was left to figure out his ways and choices.

History, is the record of man trying to find his way and figure things out. Man is the only created creature who keeps track of his comings and goings in written form. Show me a monkey who can do that. 


Man looks at his world, compares himself to a beast, creates his own gods out of his ignorance, and says he is supreme.  Yet, look what he has done with his world, with his fellow man.  Supreme in what? 

Man has great things and very evil things in him.  I have seen many great things but I have felt the results of the evil.  It caused me to ask, “Is this all there is to it?” 

 What is the highest percentage thing that man has run after?  Is it security, freedom, food, education?  No, it is wealth.  Why?

Because man has a curse on him; a curse from God.  It is real, it has consequences and it is active till the end of time.

And to Adam He said, Because you have listened and given heed to the voice of your wife, and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, saying, You shall not eat of it, the ground is under a curse because of you; in sorrow and toil shall you eat [of the fruits] of it all the days of your life; thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to you; and you shall eat the plants of the field.  In the sweat of your face shall you eat bread until you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for dust you are, and to dust you shall return.  (Gen. 3: 17,18,19) Amp.

I am going on an adventure.  I married a an American.  I must obtain a visa to go there, the process is almost finished.  When I get down there, I wish to do business.  In order to do that, I must have a plan, an understanding of what I wish to do. 

In that plan is the vision, the idea of what I wish to create for a business.  Before I start, I must try to understand the possibilities of what should be done but also what the problems will be that can come with the type of business.  So did God, but He thought of everything; I can only surmise and see the obvious ones. 

Man was created with choice and before God started creation, He understood what He was doing.  It is not by chance that angels and man are created with choice.  The tree of knowledge of good and evil did not end up in the Garden by chance, nor the tree of life.  Choice is either/or.  A coin has two sides, choice has two sides. 

 All this technology, all the science that man has achieved; and man still does not get the whole picture.

Choice is an individual thing.  I either do this or that; others can influence the reasons, but choice is mine.  I alone will bear the accountability of my choice, yet the consequences can affect many.  I can give up my choice by not doing, just following.  Choice is a all day affair, every day, for as long as life is granted you. 


Choice is behaviour; and consequences always follow behaviour.

Cain slew Abel and the ground for Cain was doubly cursed because of his actions.  Yet Cain still needed to eat. How did he manage that? 

He was to be a vagabond and a wanderer. (Gen. 4: 11-17)  Yet, what does Cain do, he builds a city and names it after his first son; Enoch. 

Enoch means:
H2596
חנך
chânak
khaw-nak'
A primitive root; properly to narrow (compare H2614); figuratively to initiate or discipline: -
dedicate, train up.

To train up in what?

Think of it.  He can not grow food, so he builds a city, starts a business, and obtains food and shelter. He is trying to skirt the curse, but because of the curse, his abilities have been narrowed.  He names his son this way and trains the child to do so.  

It is the descendants of Cain who become Jabal. He was the father of those who dwelled in tents, had cattle, and purchased possessions. His brother's name was Jubal; he was the father of all those who played the lyre and pipe. Tubal-Cain was the forger of all [cutting] instruments of bronze and iron. 


It is their father, Lamach, who commits the second murder.  And what does he say? 

Hear my voice; you wives of Lamach, listen to what I say: for I have slain a man [merely] for wounding me, and a young man [only] for striking and bruising me.  If Cain is avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech [will be avenged] seventy-sevenfold. (Gen. 4: 23,24) Amp.

If the ground for Cain was doubly cursed for he was a farmer, then what would have been put upon the family of Lamach?

 

Business is born from these happenings. These are the attitudes and thoughts that come from the start.


They do not just mysteriously appear.  Now, to feel secure, there must be great wealth available.  If one can not grow their own food, make their own clothing, or have shelter, what will they have to do to have these things?

God knew that population was meant to increase, people were meant to work, and He knew they were created with the needs of food, shelter and coverings.  People speculate what Adam and Women ate and think they slept on the wet ground.  They keep a limited view of the Garden of Eden and lose the point of its purpose.

Food is needed to give fuel for the body to function.  When it tastes good and is good for you, it is a delight to eat.  Food in the Garden would have been a delight to eat, satisfying and nourishing.  So food would have been as it was intended: available, not taking great effort to acquire, although it did take work.

Housing was not the grass.  It says in Genesis that the water level came up closer to the surface and watered the roots of plants, and there was dew every morning.  There was no rain, and a mist was upon the land, which watered the whole surface of the ground. (Gen. 2: 5,6)  That would have been pretty wet sleeping.  They had a home and some form of bed. There is nothing that God will do for me that He would not have done for Adam and Eve.

Place, house
G3438
μονή
onē
mon-ay'
From G3306; a staying, that is, residence (the act or the place): - abode, mansion. John 14: 2,3

So, food, shelter; now what about covering, clothes?  Genesis 2:25 says that Adam and Woman knew they were
naked and did not feel shame or embarrassment with each other.  They were as they were supposed to be.

 
Filled with God, covered by God. They were as they were designed to be, feeling as they were designed to
and thinking as they were designed to.  When they chose to follow their own way, their own thoughts of
understanding and the emotions they created, they chose to step out of the purpose of the design.  They ignored
the blueprint.  God gave them earthly, physical clothes to cover their shame and embarrassment; he did not tell
them to leave naked.  This covering gained by shedding blood became a symbol of what was to come. (Gen. 3: 21)

That is what sin is: living outside the original blueprint, the original design. And there are consequences to this: a warping of the subjects of life: love, money, sex, fame, relationships, work, attitudes, morals, thinking, understanding, and living. All these subjects of life have not served the original design because they are understood and used wrongly.

In the original design, there would be plans and understandings for every subject of life that made up humans.  There would be plans and understandings for every plant, animal life, the heavens, and the earth.   


All subjects became warped when man chose not to follow the teachings of the original design.

Money, possessions, these things would be available had they chosen to walk with God.  It is not the money and possessions that would have created problems, it would be the attitudes towards the need for them.  Gold, bdellium and onyx stone are from the one river that came out of the Garden. (Gen. 2: 10)  Everything mentioned in the Bible is there for a reason.  These things were there for use, but because Adam and Woman rebelled, quit school and got themselves kicked out of school, the proper ways of use were not understood.  Instead, they are replaced with man's uses and ways. 

 

Food, shelter, some form of clothing.  These basic things that were provided in the Garden have become hard thing to obtain, causing fear of loss, so that man will put up with things that are not good, right or proper in order to have some assurance of them.

Seven thousand years of recorded history: religions, terrain, military, social structure.  There is not a god that was or is worshiped, a civilization that was or is that is not recorded with an awareness of its impact on cultures and people.  Many study this history, but they do not do it with a belief that God created man and had a design and purpose for man as He does for plant and animal life.

That is rebellion, wrong thinking. Wrong thinking leads to bitterness. Bitterness will destroy you.

What do you think life should hold for you?  In regards to money, what do you think you should have as opposed to what you do have?

Are you thinking that the unfairness of life would be different with money, that people would be kinder, more thoughtful, and more accepting of you?  Adam and Woman's choice in the Garden is the reason for the unfairness of life.  Hard for people to accept. 

How you think of money and your need for it will determine what you are willing to do for money. Your attitude toward money will either lead to acceptance and peace or bitterness and destruction.

Does it not stand to reason that the God Who created us would know of the needs of His creation? 

 

Man was created with the need for food and shelter and came to need some form of clothes.  Would not the Creator provide for those needs?  Even though the curse makes the acquiring of these things harder?  

Adam did not forget where he came from and what he did.  However, life is a personal experience, and what we choose to understand, believe and follow is personal.  Adam's children did not have the experience of the Garden or the personal presence of God. They just had the story.  All born had and have the gift of choice.

It is from Adam's third son that the line of Noah comes from.  His name is Seth. Seth has Enosh and people began to call on the name of the Lord. (Gen. 4 26) In all of this, some choose the way of the Lord, but the higher percentage wishes to live and ignore God.  Do their own thing.  It comes down to Noah and his family.  


They are the only beings who believe and wish to follow God and His ways.  All of Noah's relatives have died who believed.  Pretty sad state of affairs.

Yet, God's faithfulness to His Creation. God could have wiped out mankind. No one would have ever known! He could have redesigned, reworked, and re-vamped his design. But God, the Designer, did not. He stuck with the original. Why? 

Choice.  It is a gift.

If He wanted robots, He would have created them.  In all of this, what will God end up with that He wished to start with? Angels who wish to be with Him and people who wish to be with Him.

Do you not see why Jesus speaks of the love of money? (Math. 6: 19-34) How are you looking at the subject?   With God's lamp or your own?

The eye is the lamp of the body.  So, if our eye is sound, your entire body will be full of light; but if your eye is unsound, your whole body will be full of darkness.  If then the very light in you  [your conscience] is darkened, how dense is that darkness! (v 22, 23)

If you do not know Jesus and have His Holy Spirit, then you will not understand.  


There is a way of thinking here; are you aware of yours? Therefore, do not worry and be anxious, saying, What will we eat?  Or What are we going to have to drink? Or What are we going to have to wear? (v 31)

People have spent their lives trying to acquire a home, food, and clothing. They have spent their lives running after these things and will do anything, follow anything, to make sure they can have these things. Just as the descendants of Cain did, so do we without God. All we do is acquire stuff and possessions.

For the Gentiles (heathen) wish for and crave and diligently seek after all these things; and your heavenly Father well knows that you need them all. (v 32)

We are meant to live for and with God; it is in the blueprint, the original Design.  God is our balance on all subjects, for whoever believes in and on His Son Jesus Christ.  We receive His Holy Spirit and are as the original Design was meant to be.  Then, the various subjects of life are seen in proper perspective.

But seek for (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom, and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right], and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.  (v 33)

So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own.  Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.  (v 34)

I can only live today, for it is the present.  I hope to learn from the past, but I can only live my life in the present, now, this moment.  I can not live my tomorrow until they are today.  Yes, there are things I need to be aware of for tomorrow. 

 

Schedules, commitments, possible happenings, work, relationships.  But, if I consume my today with the concerns of how tomorrow will work out, I will never have today.  

I will not enjoy today unless I make proper decisions and choices. I will not be healthy, happy, or relaxed because I am anxious about getting, paying for, and keeping food, shelter, clothes, and possessions. These concerns will be the pivotal point of all my behavior for today. They are my gas of life, my motivation for doing and being, my justification of existence.

I wish to live, to be wowed by a sunrise, birds, the sound of children, observing people.   I wish not to mind waking up in the morning; I wish to like living in my skin.

I do this by seeing reality.  God designed me to “be”-have in a certain way.  Plant and animal life be as they were designed to “be”-have; only man can choose if he “be”-haves as he should.

When we understand that God created us with the need for food and shelter, we can believe that just as he provided for Adam and Woman, so too will He provide for you and me.

When you learn to know Jesus and walk with His Holy Spirit, the needs of your everyday life are no longer solely in your hands.  It will be your hands that work at whatever is put before you, it will be you putting up with the ups and downs of life, but, Jesus is in charge of the path before you and provision is made for every step you will take from the moment you acknowledge Jesus as Lord.  It is the individual's job to learn to see, acknowledge, and praise God for it.  

I have a Teacher, Counselor, Corrector and more.  When I came to know Jesus spiritually, I was put back into the original 

design and began attending school again.  God's school of life and living.  Money is just one of the subjects I will learn.

Yet, my thinking and attitudes will not be like those of those who do not understand or know God. I will gain a proper perspective on the subject, see money for the tool it is, and use it accordingly.

I am released from the burden of having to “figure it out on my own;” I have help. My actions and ways of being will either reflect my Teacher or not. If I truly want to learn, I will understand that it is a process and takes time; I will learn to be a willing student.

And even when I do not think I am willing, God can help me to be so if I ask.

I will [not merely walk, but] run the way of Your commandments, when You give me a heart that is willing. (Ps. 119: 32)Amp.

Yet choice is mine.  I considered my ways; I turned my feet to obey Your testimonies. (Ps. 119: 59) Amp.

There is life, and there is existence.

 

Life happens in the original design.  In this manner, on all subjects of life, I will learn to be the best that I was meant to be, in all that I was meant to be. For only the designer, knows my original design

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